Death in the Community    

The death of a loved one is a traumatic experience.  Jewish law, custom and tradition provide the bereaved with guidance and support for coping with this difficult time.  At Shaar Shalom, we believe that it is our sacred duty to ensure that the final act of lovingkindness for our members is performed with respect, dignity, and adherence to Jewish tradition.  The Chevra Kadisha (Burial Society) aids and assists members who have experienced a death in the family.  The volunteers of the Chevra Kadisha prepare the body for burial, supervise funeral arrangements, provide the traditional meal for mourners following the funeral, and assist with a daily minyan for the shiva house.  They assure a proper and respectful traditional Jewish burial for the deceased.

Congregation Shaar Shalom maintains a cemetery on Connaught Avenue in Halifax, under the administration of the Cemetery Trust Committee.  All members of the congregation are entitled to be buried there.  There is no charge to members for a burial plot.

The Chevra Kadisha has prepared this pamphlet to acquaint you with Jewish funeral and mourning customs, and to provide you with guidance in your time of need. Specific questions regarding death and mourning should be addressed to the cantor or the Religious Committee.

Jewish Burial Practices

Over time, the Jewish religion has developed funeral and burial practices that meet the social and spiritual needs of the mourners and the community, and emphasize respectful treatment of the dead.  The formal mourning period (shiva) does not begin until after the funeral: thus, the funeral should not be delayed, and usually occurs the day after the death.  Special cases or circumstances must be referred to the Cantor or the Ritual committee.

Traditional Jewish burial practices emphasize the natural returning to the earth of the deceased.  Any practice that impedes the natural return is prohibited.  Thus, embalming is not allowed, except where required by civil law, as in the case of transporting the body by common carrier.  Cremation is not allowed: a cremated individual should not be buried in a Jewish cemetery, as cremation has unduly hastened the natural return.

The body is placed in a plain wooden coffin, clothed in a white shroud.  The Chevra Kadisha arranges these matters.  Autopsies should not be performed, unless required by law, or to save a life (pikuach nefesh).  Organ donations are permitted.

Custom discourages viewing of the deceased, and the casket is closed during the funeral service.  Both practices encourage the bereaved to face the reality of death.  Flowers are not present at Jewish funerals: they are not a Jewish custom, and such symbols of life are not deemed appropriate at the time of recognition of death.  Instead, Jewish tradition recommends that those wishing to pay their respects to the deceased do so through acts of t'zdakah, charity, by making donations to the synagogue or other organizations to further Jewish life.

Gentiles, even those who are parents, spouses, or children of a Jew, cannot be buried in a Jewish cemetery.  Although Jews are not required to follow Jewish mourning rituals for a non-Jewish relatives, they are permitted to do so.

Mourners are those immediately related to the deceased: parents, siblings (brothers and sisters), spouse and children.  From the time of death until the burial, these immediate relatives are onen, who have no religious obligation except to arrange the funeral.  Following burial, these immediate relatives are considered mourners.

Before the Funeral

The Chevra Kadisha has made arrangements with Cruickshanks that allow us to prepare the deceased in the appropriate way.  Members of the Chevra perform tahara, the ritual washing of the body that cleanses and purifies.  They then clothe the body in tachrichim, shrouds made of white linen or cotton.  A tallit with one of the fringes torn away is wrapped around men, and a package of earth from Israel is placed in the wooden coffin provided by the funeral home. 

When the time of the funeral has been set, the phone committee of Shaar Shalom notifies all congregation members.  As well, they inform the phone committee of the Beth Israel Synagogue.

The Funeral and Burial

The funeral service is conducted in the synagogue, or at graveside at the Shaar Shalom Cemetery.  Under normal circumstances, the cantor will perform the funeral.  If this is not possible, a qualified member of the congregation will lead the service.  Jewish law does not require a rabbi to perform the funeral.

The immediate family of the deceased remains with the funeral officient until just before the service begins.  There, they perform the ritual of kriah, the rending of a garment as a sign of mourning.  Today, people wear a torn black ribbon.  The family can designate pallbearers, or rely on the Chevra Kadisha.

The closed coffin, covered by a pall, is brought to the service site about 15 minutes before the service.  Those attending to pay their respects should maintain quiet and decorum in the presence of the coffin.  The mourners and officient enter the sanctuary just before the service begins.  The service lasts approximately 30 minutes, and includes Psalms, readings and eulogies.  The service ends with the Eil Molay Rachamim, expressing the hope that the deceased will be granted eternal peace.  Pallbearers then carry the body to the hearse, and the funeral procession moves to the cemetery.

When the mourners and comforters have gathered at the cemetery, the coffin is lowered completely into the ground before the brief service begins.  The Eil Molay is said again, and then the mourners recite the Kadish for the first time.  Each mourner, and family and friends that wish to, puts three shovels full of earth into the grave.  The mourners leave the cemetery flanked by two lines of comforters and receive traditional expressions of consolation.

After the Funeral

The period of sitting shiva, the seven days of mourning, begins immediately after the funeral.  Before entering the house of mourning, the mourners and those who have attended the funeral wash their hands as a symbolic act of purification.  The Chevra Kadisha provides the mourners with the traditional meal of bread and eggs.

During shiva, kadish is said daily at home in the presence of a minyan.   In this period of intensive mourning, the bereaved are encouraged to confront the new reality of their lives. They should refrain from going to work or school, should not attend social functions, and generally avoid other routine activities such as meal preparation, shaving, etc.  Mirrors are covered, as one in mourning should not be concerned about personal appearance.  Mourners sit on low chairs or stools, and should remain at home so that family, friends and members of the community can come to offer condolence.  Those coming to offer comfort should act appropriately for a house of mourning.

Shiva ends on the morning of the seventh day after burial.  Shabbat is counted as part of this period, although public mourning rituals are suspended, and the mourners are encouraged to attend services in the synagogue.  Holidays affect shiva in a number of ways- please consult a rabbi or the Religious Committee .

After the shiva period ends, mourners should observe shloshim, the first thirty days following burial.  Mourners return to work and normal activities, but refrain from public entertainment or social activities.  They wear the kriah, and should recite kadish in a daily minyan.

Mourners for deceased parents observe shanah, the first year, with a daily recitation of kadish for eleven months, and by avoiding celebratory activities for a full year.

When mourning ends, we continue to remember the deceased through memorial activities.  Kadish is recited on the anniversary of the death, or yahrzeit.  As well, the mourners light a 24 hour memorial candle.  The synagogue office sends out yahrzeit notices.  Yizkor (remembrance) services are held on Yom Kippur, Sh'mini Atzeret, Pesach and Shavuot.

Some time after shloshim, usually after three months and before the first yahrzeit (depending on the season), a gravestone is erected and unveiled.  Please consult with Mark David of the Cemetary Trust Committee and Chevra Kadisha or the cantor about the  application form for appropriate stones, Hebrew inscriptions, and the like.  As further memorial, a plaque can be placed on the Memorial Tablets in the sanctuary, and/or on the Tree of Life.  This can be arranged through Molly Rechnitzer (443-4770).

For further information regarding funeral and mourning customs, you can consult the cantor, a rabbi, the members of the Chevra Kadisha, the Religious Committee and the synagogue library.

What costs are involved?

The services of the Chevra Kadisha are a mitzvah of lovingkindness and respect for the deceased, and are provided without charge.  As well, the burial plot is a membership privilege of Shaar Shalom, and is also provided without charge.  Shaar Shalom does charge a burial fee of $2,000 (this includes the cost of opening the grave, shrouds, etc.), and a Perpetual Care fee of $2,500.  The Perpetual Care fee is administered by the Cemetery Trust Committee.  As of August 2005, the services provided by Cruickshank's Funeral Home (place of preparation, appropriate coffin, hearse, etc.) cost approximately $3,875, plus HST. 

Questions?   

We hope that this has answered some of your questions.  For further information, consult the cantor and the Chevra Kadisha.  The Chevra Kadisha always welcomes new members: if you would like to volunteer, call Jon Goldberg at 492-2383, or Marianne Ferguson at 423-6795.